While I start writing this first-ever blog of mine in English, it would have been some 20 hours since my mother took a drop of water or a piece of bread. No, she is not sick! Though she is old - 68 years now - and has been taking medicines to control blood pressure. It worries, and in fact scares me to think that she has skipped her medicines too along with food and water. And all this is for me and my siblings. She wants to save us from some monster who would have eaten us otherwise. Her god will save us from that monster if she deprives herself of food and water and medicines for the day which happens to be 'Jeetiya' festival. I have tried explaining to her for last two years but the fear of monster, and eventually of her god getting angry, is greater than her love for and confidence in me.
I disapprove of such a god. At least the monster in the story that they tell on Jeetiya is less hypocrite (as he recognises hunger). To avoid controversy, but not just because of that, I want to clarify that I am not an atheist. I believe in God and in Hindu philosophy as much as anybody else does. But as if the market has taken over our faiths too. I can't claim myself a believer if I don't have rings in eight out of ten fingers. A compensation could have been to stand in front of some famous temple for hours before getting in and being pushed out after sacred 'darshan' or visit for a few seconds. But I haven't done that for many years now. Interestingly, all this too, is done not for spirituality but mostly for a job, a son (no daughters please!) and even wining elections, scoring centuries in matches and getting superhit movies. Having said all this, I do bow my head in front of temples when I go past them. I never demand anything and I do not have to 'supply' anything in return by keeping myself hungry or standing in long queues. I try my best to save my god from market and pray him to save me from market.
Moreover, I don't understand why gods would want to keep all this stricter than hell fasting for women only. I am more capable than my mom; why can't I observe fast for her rather than she doing it for me? There are obviously no answers.
One last thing, I was born in Varanashi. The place people visit for 'Moksha'. How can we acquire that stage when we can actually ask gods for it? By buying a car and starting to fantasize another fancier one? Or by getting a job with twice the current salary? May be my stars are not favourable so I forget to ask my gods for all these things!!
And I must admit that this is not my original idea. "Gradually the popular idea of veneration grew round these hymns and rituals. The gods disappeared and in there place were left rituals. That was the curious development in India. The orthodox Hindu does not believe in gods, the unorthodox does. If you ask an orthodox Hindu what the meaning is of these gods in Vedas, [he will not be able to give any satisfactory answer]." Swami Vivekanand (Thoughts on Gita, 28th reprint, 2012, page 31).
I disapprove of such a god. At least the monster in the story that they tell on Jeetiya is less hypocrite (as he recognises hunger). To avoid controversy, but not just because of that, I want to clarify that I am not an atheist. I believe in God and in Hindu philosophy as much as anybody else does. But as if the market has taken over our faiths too. I can't claim myself a believer if I don't have rings in eight out of ten fingers. A compensation could have been to stand in front of some famous temple for hours before getting in and being pushed out after sacred 'darshan' or visit for a few seconds. But I haven't done that for many years now. Interestingly, all this too, is done not for spirituality but mostly for a job, a son (no daughters please!) and even wining elections, scoring centuries in matches and getting superhit movies. Having said all this, I do bow my head in front of temples when I go past them. I never demand anything and I do not have to 'supply' anything in return by keeping myself hungry or standing in long queues. I try my best to save my god from market and pray him to save me from market.
Moreover, I don't understand why gods would want to keep all this stricter than hell fasting for women only. I am more capable than my mom; why can't I observe fast for her rather than she doing it for me? There are obviously no answers.
One last thing, I was born in Varanashi. The place people visit for 'Moksha'. How can we acquire that stage when we can actually ask gods for it? By buying a car and starting to fantasize another fancier one? Or by getting a job with twice the current salary? May be my stars are not favourable so I forget to ask my gods for all these things!!
And I must admit that this is not my original idea. "Gradually the popular idea of veneration grew round these hymns and rituals. The gods disappeared and in there place were left rituals. That was the curious development in India. The orthodox Hindu does not believe in gods, the unorthodox does. If you ask an orthodox Hindu what the meaning is of these gods in Vedas, [he will not be able to give any satisfactory answer]." Swami Vivekanand (Thoughts on Gita, 28th reprint, 2012, page 31).
